I Can't Help It
by Willow More
Summary: Jessica has worked so hard to change, but is it good enough? Dean is trying to keep up his bad ass image... but its not working so much.
1. Chapter 1

**Jessica**

Standing in front of my full-length mirror, I strip off the fourth shirt I've tried on this morning. So far I've got my gladiator sandals and dark gray skinny jeans on but nothing looks good, damn it. Starting my senior year of high school shouldn't be so nerve-racking, but I've completely changed this summer. I literally worked my butt off this summer to loose sixty pounds. I was tired of being nobody, always by myself and too ashamed of what I looked like to try and make new friends.

_"Jess, you're going to be late," my mom yells from down stairs._

Frustrated, I grab a black camisole, throw it on, and run down stairs. My mom is standing at the bottom of the stairs with my bag and keys in her hands. When I take my things from her, I can feel her eyes giving me a once over.

_"What?"_

_"Are you really going to school like that? Don't you think you should be trying a little harder to look good enough? You worked so hard yet you don't even try to look nice?" _My mom rolls her eyes and then walks into the kitchen.

No matter what I do, nothing is good enough for my mother. When I was fat, she would monitor everything that went into my mouth and say things like, "do you really need that," or " don't you think you've had enough today?" She would remind me that I was never going to get a boyfriend, and I would forever be an embarrassment to this family.

So I ran up stairs and grabbed my baggy red cardigan.

On my way out the door, my mom grabbed my arm to give me one more look over. I pull my loose chestnut curls over my shoulders and rub my glossed lips together. My mom tugs at my sweater and wipes something off my cheek.

_"I wish you would try a little harder on your appearance."_ My mom shakes her head and sighs in frustration.

Frowning at my mom, I turn around and shut the door in her face. _"Hope you have a nice day too, mother!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Dean**

_"Get up, Dean."_

I ignore Max and hide my head under my sheets.

Since I share a room with two other foster kids, I have absolutely no privacy.

_"Leave me alone, dude,"_ I mumbled through the sheets.

_"Fine, but if you're late that's your own problem man,_" Max slams the door on his way out.

It's the first day of my senior year. I should be excited, right? But I'm not. I know I'll be back out on the streets, wasting my life away just like my parents did. Yeah, college would be great, but I can't afford it and lets face it, nobody expects me to do anything after high school.

_"Come on man, we're gonna be late,"_ Paul complains as he yanks the sheets right off me.

_"What the hell!"_ Was privacy really too much to ask for?

I lunge for Paul right when Max walks back through the door. Paul's a good fighter but I've got a nice twenty pounds on him and an extra four inches in height. I have Paul pinned to the floor grunting in frustration, and Max is laughing like a fucking donkey.

_"Shit, I give up man. Let me go,"_ Paul cries while trying to wiggle out from under me.

Before I can let go, icy cold water stings my back. Jumping up, I turn to see Mrs. Jenks standing there with a pitcher in her wrinkly hand.

"_Get up,"_ she orders, glaring at each of us. "What have I said about fighting under my roof?

"_Dean started it,"_ Paul accused with his bony finger in my direction.

"_What the hell, man?" _I don't care who started it, but nobody sells me out like that.

Mrs. Jenks throws the rest of the water in my face.

"_You have any more profanities you'd like to spit out?"_

"_No, Mrs. Jenks,"_ I say innocently while giving her my you-can't- hate-me-forever eyes.

" _That's what I thought. Now get dressed, and all of you come eat breakfast before school."_ Mrs. Jenks smiles and leaves our room.

"_You know you still love us,"_ Max calls out after her.

After a quick shower, I walk back to my room with only a towel around my waist. Stunned, I see Missy sitting on my bed with my pack of smokes in her hand. She is one of the younger kids Mrs. Jenks fosters, so I decide to go easy on her and playfully snatch my smokes from her tiny hands.

"_Missy, I don't ever want to see you playing with these again."_

"_Why not,"_ she whispers looking up at me with her big brown eyes.

Bending to get eye level with her I whisper back, " _these are big kid stuff, Missy. Don't touch them again and I'll give you piggy back rides whenever you want."_

"_Promise?"_ Missy is jumping up and down on my bed.

"_I promise," _I say while crossing my heart.

She jumps off my bed and skips down the hall. Watching her leave, I pray to God she never ends up like me. God? Since when do I pray? Shaking my head to get rid of all thoughts of God, I absent-mindedly grab a black t-shirt from my dresser and pull on my favorite worn out jeans. When I get my shirt over my head, I hear Mrs. Jenks's voice bellowing from down stairs.

"_Dean, come eat before it's too late."_

"_I'm comin', I'm comin',"_ I call back. She always makes sure we eat. I'll never understand why it's so important to her.

Everyone else is already at the table. There are 9 of us foster kids under Mr. and Mrs. Jenks care. Mr. Jenks leaves real early for work, so it's just Mrs. Jenks who see's us off to school.

"_Dean, Dean come sit by me,"_ Missy yells while waving her arms like crazy.

"_Naw, Missy. I'll just get –"_

"_Sit down, Dean and eat."_ Mrs. Jenks places a plate of pancakes in my hand and pushes me towards the table.

I've been with the Jenks for two years not, but Mrs. Jenks hasn't forgiven me for bringing drugs into her house a year ago. She caught me in the bathroom one night about to shoot up, and I promised and cried and begged her to not tell anyone and let me stay. Since that night, I've been clean and she promised not to tell if I never brought drugs or weapons into her house ever.

After pounding down my food, I pull on my jacket and hurry out the door with Paul and Max.

"_Guys, wait up,"_ a female voice calls out.

Lucy Hale, my ex and fellow foster kid, skips up to me.

"_Hey," I mutter._

"_Can I ride with you guys?_ I don't want to ride the bus and it's too scary to walk alone."

Lucy's model thin and makes sure that her clothes accentuate that. I would have done anything for this girl once, until I found her sucking some dudes cock while rolling on coke.

"_Come on, Dean. You wouldn't want anything bad to happen to me if you make me walk,"_ she pouts and bats her thin eye lashes.

I may not have feelings for this girl anymore, but I would feel bad if it was my fault something bad happened to her. Max is driving and Paul already took shotgun, so I slid in the back seat and Lucy deliberately placed her hand on my thigh while climbing in. It doesn't faze me the way she was hoping so she took her hand off and sat in silence.

I ignore her and focus on starting my senior year. But then again, maybe I shouldn't. After high school, I know my life's gonna be shit. Just like my past.


End file.
